Bitter Hag Syndrome (BHS) & Cynicism Galore!

I don’t know if I’ve said this before but I am super cynical. Or at least, I’ve become super cynical. I wasn’t always like this. I was a pretty happy and relatively normal person. I’m not saying I’m not happy now but I’m just bitter. Like really bitter. I call it the Bitter Hag Syndrome (BHS).

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I was sitting with a friend the other day and we were talking about how we’ve lost all faith in love and life at the age of 23 and 25 respectively. Like we’re too young to be this bitter about life. But as it turns out, we’ve both been through our fair share of shit. So becoming a bit closed off is normal. But I’m just straight up bitter and cynical and she’s well on her way to becoming a lot like me.

The world does not need another cynic.

But this whole thing got me thinking. Why the hell am I so bitter? Because I’m single? No, I figured that the problem runs deeper than that. Being single is the best thing that’s happened to me. The reason all of this cynicism and bitterness is present is that it’s in my head. Because I am literally living in my head.

Being alone and being lonely are two different things. I think a lot of my recent mood swings have been because I’m lonely, not because I’m alone.

I don’t get it. Why do we let trivial things like boys and relationships control such a large portion of our lives? But I found a solution for that also. Take all your anger and energy and frustration and direct it towards something productive and meaningful like your career. Or something.

Okay, now I really don’t know what this post was supposed to be about.

But it is what it is.

Until next time.

Live long and prosper.

May the Force be with you.

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I may not be a pretty face.. but I’m hella smart

The age old saying is “Never judge a book by it’s cover” and that’s something that’s been on my mind recently. Before I start, this is by no means a rant; just my opinion and observation.

I live in Dubai, a city that is all about glamour and luxury. And, I work in the publishing industry which is again, all about what’s hot and what sells the most. It’s only obvious that I am constantly surrounded by things and people that are all about what’s on the outside rather than what’s on the inside.

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90% of the time, in this city, instant judgements are made on the basis of physical appearance: what you wear, how you look, what size you are. Sometimes the judgement is fine, but not if you have to deal with it on a daily basis. I’m a relatively big girl. I always have. There was this phase in between when I wasn’t quite so big and I was fine with myself even then. I’m fine with myself even now.

But I know I need to become “less big” if I want to make it big in my work life. And I am working on that.

But what bugs me a little is that people care more about the looks than the brains. I’m not a big fan of that. I just believe that it shouldn’t matter. The way you look has nothing to do with the kind of person you are, or what your personality is.

I just believe that as long as you’re a nice person, nothing else should matter. I always say be what you want to be and I stand by that statement. If you want to be a unicorn, be a unicorn. If you want to be a potato, be a potato. Actually, don’t be a potato because then I might be forced to eat you and I really don’t want to do that. The point is, as long as you’re a nice person, who cares?

And I can say all of this because I’ve been on both sides; when I was big and when I wasn’t and now I’m back to being big. Fun times. It’s like a god damn roller coaster.

What was I saying? Yeah, my point is that everyone has something that makes them special and unique and I strongly believe that you should just hold onto that as tightly as you can. It will help you in the long run and set you apart from the crowd.

People can be douchey and mean and judgemental on the basis of looks. Ignore them. Just ignore and do not engage. It’s what I do.

I should mention that I’m typing this when I should be researching something online for work considering how it’s still a working day but eh, it’s fine.

So I’m not sure how many people will agree with me but again, it’s fine. This is what was on my mind and I wanted to express it here, so I did.

Until next time,

Live long and prosper.

May the Force be with you.

Actions have consequences

Yes yes, it’s been a while but I haven’t had much to say in recent times. Okay, that might not be true. I just haven’t been in the best of moods off late. I’ve been binge watching Suits Season 1 through 5 and it got me thinking about life and the decisions we make.

I think it was Mike Ross in Suits who said actions have consequences and that line really stayed with me. It is true isn’t it?! I mean it was Newton’s law as well “every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. So all of this means that every single decision we make in our lives has an effect on not just us and our lives but also on the lives of the people around us.

The thought scares me sometimes. I can’t handle my own life, imagine having to be accountable for someone else’s as well. But I guess what I’m trying to get at here is that whenever we make a conscious decision, it would serve us well to remember that sometimes you can never go back no matter how hard you try.

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Once you’ve crossed the line and gone over to the other side, there is a 99% chance that you are never coming back. Even if you want to. Even if some time afterwards you find yourself ready to try and take the plunge again; you realise that the chance is gone. Not because you took too much time to make another decision. But because someone else made a decision that affected your life.

I know this sounds super confusing but if you knew where I was coming from right now you would know what I mean.

In any case, if this makes sense, let me know.

Until next time

Live long and prosper.

May the Force be with you!